Slava Malamud
Slava Does America
Russia Banned From Olympics, To Continue Proud Cheating
Breaking news, everyone! Russia has cheated at sports. Again. Russia has been punished. Again. Russia may actually skate. Again. And Russia will absolutely, positively, without any hesitation or compunction, will cheat again the first chance it gets. Again. And again. And again. Here is the deal… Today, the World Anti-Doping Agency has officially banned Russia from all major international competitions for four years. Russia cannot host any major events or […] Read More
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What’s the Big Dill?.. The Russian Food Guide, Part 6
Don’t be surprised if this edition of the Guide winds up being the last. Oh no, it’s not because I am running out of topics to discuss. I mean, we are only six posts in, and I still haven’t gotten to the issue of porridge, for crying out loud! However, since in this post I am about to reveal Russia’s most closely guarded and embarrassing military secret, and since Russia’s […] Read More
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That’s Quite a Pickle, Comrade… A Guide to Russian Food, Part 5
There is one question any Westerner who comes into a more than passing acquaintance with Russian food will invariably ask. That question is, of course, “Is there anything you guys won’t pickle?” The answer to that question is “No.” There is nothing a determined Russian connoisseur will not attempt to conserve in salty brine. Nothing at all. Zero things. Next question, hypothetical Westerner. “No, seriously. I mean, there must be […] Read More
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Russian Hockey Superstar Does a Thing Again
Penguins Leader Allegedly a Victim, Possibly a Perpetrator of Crime Evgeni Malkin of the Pittsburgh Penguins is rather good with pucks. He is one of the NHL’s premier offensive threats, the winner of three Stanley Cups (a big doodad with a bowl on top that Canadians award to the best professional puck-shooters in the northern part of the Western Hemisphere), one Conn Smythe Trophy (a leaf-shaped thing given by Canadians […] Read More
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“Na Zdorovye” Yourself!.. The Guide to Russian Food (Actually, Booze), Part 4
You might want to sit down for this, but drinking is a big part of Russia’s culture. In fact, you might want to literally sit down for this, since the Russian drinking ritual kind of requires you to get comfortable. Russians don’t normally go for your American party-style casual drinking, what with the circulating around holding your red Solo cup while chatting about the stock market or baseball, or whatever […] Read More
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