You think you have him now, don’t you? Don’t get me wrong, it’s OK if you do. It’s easy to think that. It’s tempting. One of these days, surely, the tipping point must be reached. I mean, the guy has done and said enough to sink a couple of Nixons by now, and this new Ukraine thing is surely much worse than Watergate. Right? Right???
Right. In a normal system of coordinates, yes, of course, he is toast. But it’s not happening here and now. Not because of corruption, not because of the Republican Party which has become a wholly owned subsidiary of the Trump Organization, not because of Vladimir Putin and not because of the spineless media that will jump out of its skin to both-sides any story.
Trump will skate because he knows something that you don’t. Please, sit down, I am not claiming he is actually smart. Far from it. I am not saying he is competent or savvy. Yes, he is easily the most absurd person to ever occupy the White House. And that’s a building that had its share of less than perfect occupants: some had a reputation (possibly ill-deserved) for being dim-witted, some were undoubtedly racist, some extremely poorly suited to lead the nation through contentious times, some brought unprecedented graft and corruption with them, some were womanizers, some were surly assholes, some suffered from a mental decline and at least one was an outright criminal who got caught red-handed, but here we’ve got a fellow who is literally all of the above and more.
Yes, Trump, definitely the dumbest person who has ever been entrusted with leading a Western democracy, knows something that you don’t, and this is why he keeps winning. And it’s not a very complicated thing. The secret knowledge Trump possesses that you refuse to see is that American voters are stupid. Not just uneducated, mind you. Education and intelligence don’t really create a perfect circle on the Venn diagram. I mean stupid. Utterly, hopelessly, irredeemably, reality-bendingly stupid in ways that few humans have ever been or, hopefully, ever will be.
I am not here to insult Americans. This is a nation that has produced more than its share of brilliant folks and has deserved the status as the world’s benchmark on pretty much every area of human endeavor. I am here simply to say that the amount of incredibly, uniquely, proudly dumb, completely el stupido individuals here is objectively just enough to elect this man again. This man, seen here admitting to an impeachable offense that makes Watergate downright laughable.
I am saying that there are tens of millions of people in this country who will watch this and say, “Hey, this makes perfect sense! Joe Biden is the real criminal!” Who will listen to this drivel spewed by a barely-lucid moron with his halting, broken English, wandering eyes and the complexion of a baboon’s ass, and say, “Now, here is the guy who is honest, smart and cares about folks like me!”
They will say it and they will mean it, whether you can believe this or not. And I am only talking about the card-carrying members of the Trump cult. These folks are so far beyond the pale of sanity, they can barely be recognized as belonging to the same species. But there are tens of millions of people besides them who will watch this and say, “Yeah, he sounds a bit fishy, but, you know, Biden must also have something to hide, so, all and all, it’s all the same. At least the economy is good!”
This is how goddamn dense this country has become. It’s become “cancer is terrible, but a hangnail can hurt pretty bad, too” type of dense. I mean, seriously, just listen to this shit.
“What I said was so good…” Motherfucker, can anyone listen to this and not hear an obviously demented old crook going for his one time-tested “praise myself until everyone believes me” defense and not finding words in what is supposedly his native language?
“What I said was so good!.. You wouldn’t believe how good the things that I said were. The president of the Ukrainia said, “Sir, I can’t, I can’t believe the goodness of what I am hearing. I have never heard anything this good or this legal. It’s the most legal thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot of legal, believe me!”
I mean, fuck it, it’s not even satisfying to make fun of anymore, even. But there will be folks who won’t hear it. They won’t hear the feeble-mindedness, the shamelessness, the obvious duplicity. They won’t see through the endless string of self-aggrandizing meaningless adjectives and come to the seemingly inescapable conclusion that it’s all bullshit and this person is nuts.
For some, all they will hear, playing on a loop inside the place where people are supposed to have brains, is “I hate Democrats! I hate Democrats! I hate…” For others, it will be “Oh well, he is our president, and, I guess, the other side isn’t so innocent either.”
We live in the climactic scene of “A Few Good Men”, just at the moment when Jessup screams, “You’re damn right I did!” Except that in our world, he mangles the line, despite repeating it five times, and then gets immediately promoted to full general, while the murder victim is dug up and investigated for collusion with Tom Cruise.
About half the country will go to the ballot box a year from now without the strongest possible desire to throw this abomination out of office immediately. About half the country is this mindbogglingly stupid. A lot of folks in the other half think that evidence, facts, reason, common sense, confessions, fucking confessions even will move the needle in any way.
Trump knows better. He has found the one trait in the American voter that he can exploit endlessly and with the greatest of ease. Your astounding fucking stupidity.
To be so wrong is mind boggling. I’d ask when he requested an investigation of his political opponent, but I know the answer already; he didn’t. He requested an investigation of a possibly corrupt American citizen whom happens to be the son of a “possible” opponent. That you got this so wrong is would be funny, if you weren’t as pigheaded as to believe your own bullshit, hey, man…Russia. That you believe one side is so evil, while the other is not, clearly indicates why these words will be totally lost on you; you’re simply the exact ignorant ass you… Read more »
Not half, actually just about 1/3. What matters is what states those stupid people live. in. As he won 2016 by 170,000 voites across three states (Electoral College)
Actually, it was more like 70,000 people. My only hope is that the 3 million he lost by in 2016 grows in those states he barely won, and we start reversing course.